Star Stuff
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us

October 19 2014, 08:08 PM

29,937 notes   •  VIA: ettesumal   •   SOURCE: asheathes
Filed Under:  harry potter  

asheathes:

WIZARDING SCHOOLS AROUND THE WORLD: INDIA

India’s Academy of Sorcery boasts an impressive display of flashy colours, from enchanted saris that shift colours sporadically throughout the day, to the lavishly painted exterior of the academy which is situated in a nondescript location along Ganges River. Due to the frightening rate at which the school’s ancient mango tree (jokingly nicknamed “Mammoth Mango Machine”) produces mangoes, students have to endure the perpetually evolving art of mango cuisine at least five days a week. Every year, to the students’ great enjoyment, classes are halted for Diwali to make time for various competitions that take place: firework flourishes and charms for upper-year students (bonus points if it doesn’t set any part of the school on fire), and lantern designing for lower-year students (use of animals, alive or dead, is forbidden).

October 19 2014, 07:21 PM

10,742 notes   •  VIA: ettesumal   •   SOURCE: asheathes
Filed Under:  harry potter  

ettesumal:

asheathes:

WIZARDING SCHOOLS AROUND THE WORLD: CANADA

Catering to western students in the vast land of Canada, the Banff Academy of Magical Studies is a sprawling château-style structure nestled comfortably in the snowy peaks beyond Lake Louise. The students have opted for stylish layered knitwear in place of traditional wizard robes, and are often named some of the most fashionable amongst the international wizarding community. Every winter, students would don their warmest clothing and spend hours outside casting adhesive charms on the walls of the academy so falling snow would later stick to the exterior, transforming the school into a frozen palace. 

This born and bred Alberta girl likey :)

October 19 2014, 06:35 PM

516,553 notes   •  VIA: itsstuckyinmyhead   •   SOURCE: housecatincarnate
Filed Under:  funny  music jokes  
itsstuckyinmyhead:

zohbugg:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 
Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

this post just kept getting better and better

This is my favorite post and always will be.

itsstuckyinmyhead:

zohbugg:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

image

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

image

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

this post just kept getting better and better

This is my favorite post and always will be.

October 19 2014, 05:48 PM

157,955 notes   •  VIA: piecrofth   •   SOURCE: vzxy
Filed Under:  funny  feminism  
vzxy:

Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written. 

vzxy:

Quite possible the greatest tweet ever written. 

October 19 2014, 05:02 PM

454,386 notes   •  VIA: spoopygeiszler   •   SOURCE: kaniehtiio
Filed Under:  funny  favorite  

gallifreyfallsnomorre:

*salutes*

October 19 2014, 02:43 PM

1,206 notes   •  VIA: sherlockbbcgraphics   •   SOURCE: punksherlock
Filed Under:  sherlock  graphics  gorgeous  
punksherlock:

url graphic for moriarghty!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

punksherlock:

url graphic for moriarghty!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚

October 19 2014, 01:56 PM

683,497 notes   •  VIA: benedictatorship   •   SOURCE: americagiveup
Filed Under:  funny  
  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  • Night Vale: You do NOT have two cows. Cows do not exist. What's a cow? Show me a cow! That's not a cow! Who let you in here?
  • Tom Hiddleston: You have two cows. You are very sorry for them.
  • Thranduil: You do not have two cows, you have an elk. Riding on two cows is not majestic. Also the dwarves are on fire.
  • Dwarves: You had two cows but now they're on fire.
  • Bilbo Baggins: You did not invite those two cows for dinner.
  • Smaug: You had two cows but I have lain low your warriors of old.
  • Cows: The shit you go through.
  • This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked

October 19 2014, 01:10 PM

45,774 notes   •  VIA: wondernine   •   SOURCE: monochromaticblack
Filed Under:  funny  favorite  quote  

monochromaticblack:

"be stubborn about your goals but flexible about your methods." the best advice I’ve ever received.

October 19 2014, 12:23 PM

281,563 notes   •  VIA: coooooooooooooorvo   •   SOURCE: owlturdcomix
Filed Under:  cute  

owlturdcomix:

My little secret.

October 19 2014, 11:37 AM

16,486 notes   •  VIA: afalsebravado   •   SOURCE: bungalowintheburrough
Filed Under:  quote  

I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I’ve become arrogant, but simply because I reached a point in my life where I do not want to waste more time with what displeases me or hurts me. I have no patience for cynicism, excessive criticism and demands of any nature. I lost the will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer spend a single minute on those who lie or want to manipulate. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy, dishonesty and cheap praise. I do not tolerate selective erudition nor academic arrogance. I do not adjust either to popular gossiping. I hate conflict and comparisons. I believe in a world of opposites and that’s why I avoid people with rigid and inflexible personalities. In friendship I dislike the lack of loyalty and betrayal. I do not get along with those who do not know how to give a compliment or a word of encouragement. Exaggerations bore me and I have difficulty accepting those who do not like animals. And on top of everything I have no patience for anyone who does not deserve my patience.

 - Meryl Streep (via mythandrists)

October 19 2014, 10:50 AM

romanvs:

love it

October 19 2014, 10:04 AM

13,667 notes   •  VIA: sadynax   •   SOURCE: wavesheep
Filed Under:  lord of the rings  fanart  

wavesheep:

54 characters

October 19 2014, 09:17 AM

ladyamazonshebeast:

bugabooblues:

Correction this vine is important

tsaijthepirate